“Then Saul pleaded again, ‘I know I have sinned. But please, at least honor me
before the elders of my people and before Israel by coming back with me so that I may worship the Lord your God.’”
1 Samuel 15:30
Saul was the man GOD had chosen to be Israel’s first king, the one who experienced the power of God’s Spirit. Yet Saul’s life was filled with turmoil. The source of that distress is evident in today’s verse: Even though Saul had disobeyed God, his main concern was--at least honor me! This self-focus continued throughout his life, and finally brought him to ruin.
Notice Saul’s focus in these other verses:
18:8 – “What? They credit David with ten-thousands and me with only thousands!”
19:17 – “Why have you betrayed me like this and let my enemy escape?”
22:8 – “You’re not even sorry for me…”
22:13 – “Why have you conspired against me?”
23:21 – “At least someone is concerned about me!”
24:21 – Asked David not to kill my line of descendants when he became king.
31:4 – Even in death, Saul was afraid he would be humiliated!
Most certainly, God had worked wonders in Saul’s life, but when he chose to turn his focus from God to himself, his life became full of fear, anxiety, defensiveness, and desperate attempts to prove his power. Full of me, myself and I, Saul’s life spun out of control in a disastrous downward spiral--the inevitable outcome of self-focus!
I hope me, myself, and I will learn a lesson from Saul!